Friday, November 21, 2008

A Rhetorical Question

Is it possible to see yourself in the process of decomposing while you are still alive?

The last couple of days have made me want to just pull my own plug, and turn in my Believer Card to my Maker.

"Here I am. I am done. I believe in You. Please take me into Heaven because a. You are merciful b. You love me more than life itself c. It looks like the country is taking a turn for the worse very shortly, and I did not vote for it, pray for this to happen, donate to the wrong people or even watch Oprah, who evidently is the new Antichrist. d. Relationships with church people are driving me to the brink of (Insert something desperate, but non-violent in here, thank you.) e. All of the above

Running away never solves anything, even running to Heaven, although I hear the shadow is a great place to be. (Psalm 91) The truth is that as we stay and face up to our own insecurities and the blatant insensitivity and ungratefulness of the body of Christ is when we are being most Christ-like, and most God-like. In the sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us that his Father is kind to the ungrateful et al.

Being like Jesus, means that I am going to die to some/all, depending on the day, of my personal goals and ambitions because how I treat people is more important than how they treat me.

When people in the body of Christ engage in activities and speech than is offensive to us, and we take the time and care to approach them to deal with the offenses because we care about maintaining relationships, a value that is high on God's list as well, (Keep your offering until you make things right with your brother.) and we are scorned, disbelieved, rejected, lectured, and dissed, there is some dying in that. We get to die to our ideas of what great fellowship looks like because sometimes there is blood on the floor, and we find out it is ours. We get to die to our illusions that our spiritual leaders are really sensitive and compassionate, because we find out that they not only have feet of clay, but that the reason they have so many problems getting along with people is that they do not have the people skills of a Kmart cashier, despite their great spiritual gifting or calling.

Oh well. I am staying on earth. And I am dying to a few things this week, and probably decomposing a little more next week. Somewhere in all of this will turn up life. It's on the back of my Believer Card. He who loses his life will find it. Doesn't say where or when, but will. Maybe in Reno...maybe in Boise...but it will happen, just like the sun coming up.


bristowmom said...

I love, love, love this post. And I am so with you on paragraph 3. Except I am afraid of the process of dying so I just want Jesus to return TODAY. In my mind I keep thinking it really is going to happen very soon. Then I wonder if I am sort of a lunatic, or if He really is coming soon. It sure seems to me that I can see the pieces falling into place for the very end times, but I am no scholar, so maybe it is just wishful thinking.

At any rate - I am still praying for you!

Gabrielle Krake said...

If you have not read, Mourning into Dancing by Walter Wangrin, please give it a try. It's all about your blog!Thanks for the transparency, if the truth be known thats where Christians are screwed up. Not enough transparency, and then when we bare it all someone chews us up and spits us out. UGH!

Mrs. Sinta said...

Thank you both for your kind thoughts. I will have to look into that book.

R said...

Very good post.

Very true and wise stuff.

I think the Rwandan's in Africa who were slaughtered by their own people in the nineties thought and prayed that Jesus would come back too. But he did not come back yet, and they have a huge lesson to teach us presently about reconciliation. If Jesus comes, or if He chooses not to come just yet, there are things to be done for His glory still, be it slaughter so forgiveness can be given, or be it an economy crashing to the ground and jobs lost so the provision of God can be clearly seen in practical ways.

Airport Gal said...

I think that your comments regarding the Body of Christ are so true! We really don't know how to love one another very well, do we? We are so quick to judge one another, so quick to smash someone if they don't appear to "have it all together"--whatever that means,quick to believe the worst!

Dying to ones own self really hurts! Decomposing flesh stinks, it's ugly, but life comes out of the mess! God is glorified, but we don't have a clue as to how that really happens! We slog on in the midst of all these unwanted circumstances...longing to experience that picture of dancing on the beach with God! (gloriously thin, too!)

Thank you, thank you for writing!

Amanda said...

To live is Christ to die is gain.